domingo, 19 de julho de 2009

14. Blogue = saco de boxe


Hoje estou que nem posso!


Sinto-me de tal forma que não dou espaço para a Ivaginada, Ivaginar.
Vou transformar o blog em Ringue , sala de boxe ... os murros serão dados pela química cerebral, no saco de box, que será este blog!

Vou vomitar as emoções negativas, libertar as TPM reprimidas laboratorialmente, arrotar heroicamente, que neste estados químicos, 'sou contra os que são contra'.

Para começar, suavemente irei questionar:
Já algum de vós pensou em espetar e rodar (chamo atenção para este acto), o x-acto nos olhos de alguém?

Silêncio no ringue...

Sai o primeiro murro - eu declaro que já!

E reafirmo que embora tenha pensado apenas uma vez, quando o fiz a ideia não era a de rodar uma só vez, mas várias, muitas, muitas, muitas...até saciar a sede da minha química cerebral, essa doida!


Não sei como se sentiriam no meu caso, mas eu confesso que durante vários dias a ideia não me saía da cabeça.

Para que não se assustem com o meu estado de saúde mental, confesso perante vós que tal desejado acto, não se concretizou, ficando o x-acto no seu inicial local.

Imaginem o que é estarem no vosso local de trabalho, rodeada de gente ávida para obter o que as conduziu áquele (até ao momento) sossegado local e observarem o irromper de um ser de outra etnia...armado em Chico esperto.

Não sou racista, mas as minhas hormonas confessam que se pudesse, não era nos olhos que rodaria esse x-acto e não seria apenas a este ser, mas sim a todos ou quase todos os da sua estirpe, que se julga mais que os outros.

Ai como aumentariam as posses, do cada vez mais magro cofre do estado! Tanto rendimento mínimo poderia ser bem aproveitado!

Continuando, sobre o Chico-esperto que já está a ser, demasiado valorizado por passados seis anos, ainda ser lembrado em forma bloguena...este ser que se acha:' quero ,posso' e mando', irrompeu local 'adentro' empurrando os demais presentes e de olhos cravados na minha imagem, seguia ferozmente de carteira em punho, com a qual se preparava para praticar tiro ao alvo sobre 'moi'.

Minutos atrás havia tentado ajudar um familiar, que tinha dúvidas numa informação...como a minha informação não foi de encontro à deste ser 'que se acha sou, quero e posso'.

Aí vem ele tentar virar o barco.

Inicialmente tentei ignorar, mas os termos inapropriados, o tom de voz cada vez mais elevado...fizeram-me saltar da minha (por si só já inexistente) áurea celestial.

Eis que elevo o meu dedo ditatorial e prego: 'saia imediatamente, ou serei obrigada a chamar, quem a convide a sair...pois não sou obrigada a assistir a atitudes de gente como a Senhora!'

Ahahah...o que eu fui dizer, esqueci-me que este tipo de gente sofre de xenofobia e entendeu que '...não sou obrigada a assistir a atitudes de gente como a Senhora!', se referia a raça, etnia e não simplesmente à falta de educação, frente à minha pessoa e restantes presentes, em local.

É então hora de sacar o primeiro golpe(diga-se de passagem segundo golpe, pois o primeiro já tinha sido marcado oralmente), é o saca mala e tenta agressão.

Sim porque já que palavras, tons e gestos não chegam para intimidar a parte 'moi', há que partir para a agressão física.

A separar-nos, um balcão de 30 cm...
No ar uma carteira, que ia e vinha, sem conseguir atingir o alvo ('moi')
No pensamento (meu, porque o da outra desconheço e desprezo), um x-acto vermelhinho a rodar e rodar e rodar e rodar e rodar e rodar e rodar e rodar e rodar e rodar...ops, a esta altura já saquei fora os olhos ...é melhor parar! Caso contrário perco o prazer da Ivaginação!

Conclusão...terceiros, informaram a dita, que a mesma era burra, (não pretendo ofender, doces animais em vias de extinção) mas por outras palavras, solucionado por outrém o problema por ela criado, foi conduzida a sair por mãos de alguém mais fardado.

Fica o aviso, se não me quiserem ver a rodar x-actos, não me provoquem...ou melhor provoquem blogueanamente.

Mas este blog ainda vai servir mais vezes de saco de box...ainda tenho muita serotonina para libertar!



O que acham de autocaravanas a ocuparem dois lugares de estacionamento, para que os seus ocupantes possam usufruir de espaço para a mesa de refeições nesse segundo lugar de estacionamento?

O que pensam das mesmas autocaravanas estacionarem tão bem, que o passeio para os peões ser COMPLETAMENTE, ocupado pelas traseiras das ditas.

Mas pobrezinhas delas e seus ocupantes, porque a culpa é do estado, autarquia ... quem os manda autorizarem o estacionamento das ditas em locais inapropriados e pior ainda, não multar, num país de MULTAS, os pobrezinhos que decidem acampar com a sua mesinha de refeição no segundo lugar.

Se hoje roncava dentro de uma autocaravana e acordou com o estoiro...informo-o que fui eu, que dei um murro, com a minha mão direita na traseira da sua viatura...e fique sabendo, a ideia era mesmo acordá-lo! Sim porque graças à sua casa ambulante eu tive de me deslocar do passeio para a estrada.

Como se já não chegasse a ausência de passeios para peões ou os buracos nos resistentes ás intempéries governamentais...agora curte-se autocaravanas a ocuparem dois lugares de estacionamento e o passeio.

Cool!

64 comentários:

Anónimo disse...

Tentada, estava eu, há uns diasitos atrás,em deixar a suricata em paz...coitada... aquela tendência para conversas que fedem, faz parte do sangue, da massa muscular e da sua cabeça...terá sido genético...terá sido adquirido? eu penso que, das duas...foram as duas.Desculpei-a, dei-lhe desconto de 100%, e auto-puni-me...marterizei-me, quase dei com a cabeça na parede, de tanto arrependimento...
Passaram-se alguns dias...eu continuei o
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sim, bastou-me olhar há escassos minutos o blogue da suricata e tudo isso se desmoronou...arrasou comigo...

Anónimo disse...

Confesso que, só agora,após o 1º dia de férias, com praia, compras no Jumbo, depositar dinheiro (pouco!pois..)dormir um pouco, tentando manter os olhos abertos, olhando o canal mov que exibia "Culpa"em espanhol...sim, confesso que, só após ter engerido esta dose de multivitaminas, consegui abrir o blogue da suricata e, com um respirar profundíssimo, ler a longa prosa contida no saco de boxe!em conversa face to face, já me havia sido contada, pela própria vitima e quase culpada,a situação que se relata nesta mensagem.
Ivaginem o que é ivaginar, rodar o x-acto nos olhos de alguém...ivaginem só! até arrepia, vero?!pois eu hoje vou ser contingente com a autora, talvez porque me apeteça pôr alguma lenha na fogueira ou talvez porque me mentalizei que devo tentar ser amiga da Ivaginada antes que, um dia, me calhe a mim ser o alvo da sua irritação...
Contudo aconselho a autora a não divulgar seu verdadeiro nome...cuidado, ainda te podes dar mal com tanta raiva, ainda poderás vir a ocupar uma cela e vires a ser alvo de atentados ao pudor das tuas companheiras de presídeo...cuidado linda ivaginada...
Se por mero acaso tal vier a acontecer, já sabes...não me perguentem por ti, porque não te conheço...
e sigo...mariaemmovimento

Sandra disse...

Ai...ai...como eu te compreendo a ti e ao teu x-acto. Lembrei-me de uma cena de um filme, "A outra face", com o Travolta e o Nicholas Cage. Não que o filme esteja entre os meus favoritos, mas tem uma cena em particular que nunca mais me saiu da cabeça. Uma jovem,filha do polícia bonzinho a quem Travolta roubou a identidade, está à porta de casa dentro de um carro de onde tenta sem sucesso escapar às patas do rapazinho com quem saiu. Eis que Travolta, (igual ao pai na cara mas não no espírito já que no fundo é um bandidolas), aprecia a cena à janela e sai feito louco em direcção ao carro e decide ajustar contas com o patas leves. Mais tarde pergunta à "filha" se ela tem "protecção" e oferece-lhe uma faca de ponta e mola, vulga naifa, com a seguinte dica "da próxima vez, espetas-lhe isto na coxa e rodas que é para a ferida não fechar!".
Ora isto é que é um paizinho à maneira!
Nos meus momentos de angústia é a imagem do Travolta que me atravessa o espírito, imagino-o numa versão diferente, com a banda sonora do Pulp Fiction a ouvir-se lá ao fundo, estamos os dois na pista dançar, eu sou UMA loira boazona e de repente a música pára...silêncio...ele gentilmente passa a mão no meu rosto enquanto com a outra mão deposita na minha uma naifa de ponta e mola e diz-me..."vai minha filha, espeta na coxa e roda para a ferida não fechar".
Na cena seguinte eu continuo a ser UMA loira (Thurman) boazona, desta vez vestida de amarelo,já na versão "Kill Bill", pronta para rodar o minha naifa sem dó nem piedade e ao fundo ouve-se o som das minhas gargalhadas dementes e descontroladas...

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